I started a series on relationships and got a lot of feedback on it. This topic seems to be popular with the 20 somethings right now (I fall in this category) because it’s a relevant part of our life. Let me clarify, relationships are always relevant, but in this particular stage of life for my age group, people are starting to get engaged, married, start a family, etc. So I wanted to continue with this series, because it is so applicable to life.
I personally don’t have an extensive dating past, and I’m still unmarried, but I’ve done my fair share of reading and talking to other around me (so I’m kind of an expert…right?!) The subject I want to address today is the subject of your future mate. Statistically speaking, most of you will be married one day, and if you’re currently single (by single here, I mean unmarried, not single in the sense that you aren’t currently dating someone) you should be thinking and praying about your future spouse. Here are some tips I have to offer….
Pray for your future spouse!! I cannot emphasize this point enough! The Lord already knows who you’re going to marry, why wouldn’t you be praying for them now? I pray often for my future husband, even though I have no idea who he is right now, I pray for his…
Walk with the Lord – I pray that God strengthens and grows him in Himself, and that he’ll treasure the Lord above all else.
Courage – I pray that he is a man of deep courage and is exercising it currently in his life with the people he knows.
Purity – I pray that the Lord keeps him pure in his thoughts and actions. I realize people make mistakes, but I pray that the Lord will restore what is lost if need be, and continue to help him on the road of purity.
Leadership – I pray that he continues to grow into the kind of man that will one day lead me and my family, both spiritually, but also financially, emotionally, practically, etc.
Wisdom – I pray that the Lord gives him wisdom and discernment in all areas of his life, and that he is able to make decisions that honor the Lord and the people in his life.
While that is not an exhaustive list, I hope it helps you to see how I pray for my future spouse. Granted, this is not an every day occurrence, because I feel like emotionally, I would be placing myself in a position that I don’t need to be in right now. But I do pray for “him” from time to time, and I think it’s beneficial to lay these things before the Lord.
2. Know what you want!
This point definitely needs some clarification before I further explain it. When I say to “know what you want” I mean that you should have a list of qualities that you absolutely will not compromise on. These are character issues, not physical ones. For instance, while I might say, “I want someone that’s tall, dark, and handsome, plays guitar and has blue eyes.” Those are outward things, and aren’t things that would change whether or not I would marry someone. Yes, it would be nice to have someone physically attractive, but if I ended up with the world’s most gorgeous man, who also happened to have no character, life would not be much fun, because he would not have good character. The things I am talking about are issues of the heart and his/her character. Make up a short list of the qualities/characteristics that you will not settle and stick to it!! When a Ryan Gosling look-alike swoops in and takes you on the most romantic date ever, but then turns out to be a scumbag, run run run as fast as you can in the other direction! Here are my qualities that I won’t settle on…
Christian– His genuine adoration for the Father must be evident in his everyday life, in how he talks, in how he treats people, in how he spends his money, in how he spends his time, etc. Nominal Christianity isn’t good enough for me!
Leadership – If I’m going to get married one day, I will be marrying a MAN, not a boy, and I absolutely refuse to marry someone who can’t stand up for themselves or for me! They must be able to exercise their leadership and know how to effectively lead with strength and dignity.
Family – I grew up in a large family, and we are all very close. Since family is so important, I desire that for my future, and if I am going to get married, then family must be a priority for both of us.
Like I said, try to keep this list relatively short! I used to have a really long list, but realized that most of the things on the list were personal preference and not things that were truly important. (While having someone buy me flowers on a regular basis would be very nice, I decided I should probably erase that one from my list!)
* Part 2 is coming…