“If I could tell ladies one thing…” Words from your brothers

Dear Sisters,


Personally, I’m single and will be spending my Valentine’s Day wearing a red dress, gong to dinner and a movie with my fantastic girlfriends, and enjoying an excuse to wear red lipstick. While I don’t have a man in my life in a romantic way, I am blessed beyond belief to have a dad and brothers who treat me better than I deserve, love me unconditionally and are the best valentines a girl could ask for.

Instead of sharing my words today, I thought it would be encouraging to let you in on what your Christian brothers have to say to you. I received input from over 30 incredibly Godly men, ranging from older married men, engaged, dating and single. To say that I was blown away by these men is an understatement. I am truly honored to know these men and have them share their hearts. I presented the following question to the…


“If I could tell ladies one thing…”


Now I know that’s a general question, but I meant for it to be open-ended to allow the guys to have freedom in answering with whatever they felt most passionate about sharing with you.

Ladies are in for a treat! My prayer is that this serves as an encouragement to you. Remember, above all else, today and every day to meditate on the great love the Father has displayed by choosing you, sending His son to atone for your sins, and loving you with a steadfast love!




~ Look for a man who is following the Lord.

For evidence of how he is growing in knowledge of and love for Him.  Look to his relationships with men and women in the church—and particular whether he is submitting to authority, being discipled, and built up.  This is critical.

~ You’re beautiful!

~ Christian men cannot live up to all the standards of what we are supposed to be like according to all of the Christian articles you post about dating/marriage/men/etc.

~ It’s not your job to pursue, but to reciprocate

~ Stop comparing yourselves to other girls.

~ Many Christian men and women believe they need to have more certainty about the other person before considering dating.  But so long as both understand that the purpose of dating is to explore the potential for marriage, then I think it’s completely fine to get to know one another—and that going out for this purpose isn’t a commitment to marry.

~ Be decisive. If a guy is pursuing, don’t string him along while you consider “options”.

~ Surround yourselves with women you hope to emulate.

~ Knowledge is attractive.

~Run after Christ as fast as you can and all else will come into place..and know what you want.

~ If you didn’t have a good relationship with your father growing up, trust God to make up for it.

            “For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in.” – Psalm 27:10

~ Know what you want. Don’t play games.

            This was said by at least ten gentlemen.

~ Jesus will love you more than any man ever could.

~ Look for a realistic man not a fairy tale.

       The expectation on a man is to be a man of God, a strong leader, and a provider. He can do all of that but that doesn’t mean   you should ever expect him to be Casanova. Those are in Hollywood for a reason and look how successful all their relationships are.

~ Look for someone who who will treat you not how you deserve, but love you how Christ loved the church and gave himself up for. And then love him the same.

~ Remember that, regardless of what our culture says is acceptable or the right way to behave, always be a lady. Audrey Hepburn will always be more attractive than Mila Kunis.

~ Yoga pants and leggings are immodest.

~ Pray for the men you know.

Genuine men of the gospel are under lots of demonic pressure due to the fact that the Bible calls them to lead their families in spiritual nourishment but some are called to lead a flock in the Church. Its tough. Its hard. They need prayer

~ Be patient. Whether you’re waiting for your future husband to show up or think you’ve found him and are waiting for him to take that next step, be patient. We serve a God with a perfect plan and with perfect timing. Let Him become the center of your life and the joy of your heart so that when you meet that man who makes you realize why it never worked out with other men.

I saved my brother’s advice for last…

~Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Understand you can only deserve as much as you expect. And if you don’t expect more you will get less. Expect more even if it takes longer to get it because there is no get rich quick scheme that doesn’t fall apart, there is no relationship that is built on a strong foundation over a few months. The best things take time to develop and something as important as a husband is someone you’re going to share your bank account with, your bed, your house, your bathroom, your family, your heart and mind, everything! That is serious business and if you aren’t willing to wait for the best you won’t get it. It’s that simple. Some find it at 18 some find it in their 30s, but the best things come when you’re content with what you have and aren’t in need of a human man to complete you. A man cannot complete you he can only make you better and bring out the best in you.


One thought on ““If I could tell ladies one thing…” Words from your brothers

  1. Pingback: February Joy Project | Chelsea Patterson

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