Honest thoughts on birthdays….

Fun Fact: I love birthdays!e3e0302326dcf3c5f5edc0c3fded8a15

My birthday is two weeks from yesterday! Yes, I am already counting – 13 days! I personally think birthday’s should be a national celebration.

The day you entered the world.

The day you gasped your first breath on planet earth.

The day you cried as little ones do.

Birthdays are important because we celebrate someone’s life, we pause and acknowledge their innate value because they are a part of the human race that God sovereignty ordained.

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As much as I adore birthdays – the party, the gifts, the cake, the balloons, the excitement, etc. a part of my heart dreads them.

The devil is in full force in the days leading up to my birthday. I have shared before, but one of the great struggles and temptations I face is to believe the lies that the devil so cleverly whispers into my ears.

Chelsea, you’re not worth anything

Chelsea, you’re a mistake

Chelsea, your life has no value

The reason these thoughts hit especially hard is because my birthday reminds me of my birth mom in Romania. Growing up, I didn’t struggle at all, however as I’ve fallen more in love with the Lord and grown closer to Him, I can tell that the devil has stepped up his attacks against me. My thoughts turn to the events prior and surrounding my birth. I was conceived in sin. It is a fact about my life. Recently, I chose to dwell on those thoughts instead of immediately taking them captive before the Lord. Instead of defusing the lies with the Lord’s truth, the lies circles round and round in my head until I found myself emotionally beat up and weeping before a friend. As I poured out my heart, she reminded me that we are all conceived in sin, because we are all innately sinful. The only person that perfectly entered into this world was Jesus. Dear one, you were conceived in sin too. Your birth may not look the same as mine, but the fact is the man and woman who created you were sinners, thus making you a sinner as well. 

Humbly, I went before my Father and admitted that I had fundamentally failed to believe the Gospel.

I failed to believe the truth found in the pages of God’s holy word.

I failed to run to God as my ultimate source of comfort and healing.

I failed to acknowledge that God is strong enough to save me from myself and my thoughts.

I failed to believe that Christ’s death on the cross was enough.

I failed.

But….

Praise the Lord that I have the Holy Spirit living inside of me, searching out my heart, revealing my sin to me!

This year, I chose to believe that I have the world’s most incredible man and woman as my mother and father, 3 sisters and 2 brothers who are greatest treasures, friends that care deeply about me, a great job in our nation’s capital, and most importantly, a Savior who died in my place, took my sin and shame, gave me His steadfast love, and adopted me as His own child!

On January 27th, you can find me claiming my free birthday drink from Starbucks and celebrating another year of living!

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One thought on “Honest thoughts on birthdays….

  1. Pingback: January Joy Project | Chelsea Patterson

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