I’m in the process of making a major life decision right now. (Details to come.) While this decision is exciting beyond belief, it would literally change my entire life. This decision would include devoting 2 years of my life specifically, moving across the world and giving up a lot of my comforts. I can’t share what the decision is right now, but if I am extremely vulnerable, I’m kind of scared! My heart beats faster at the possibilities that lie ahead if I say “yes” to this decision, yet there are so many questions in my mind.
I’ve grown up in the Christian community and currently go to a Christian university (which I’m more than grateful for), but growing up in that kind of environment has placed a certain stereotype in my head of how “life” is supposed to go.
Go to college → meet a guy/girl → fall in love → get engaged → tie the knot → baby on the way → live a comfortable life →live happily ever after
While there’s nothing wrong with this, I believe there’s so much more to live than simply looking out for yourself. What makes me happy? What is going to bring me the maximum fulfillment? How can I make more money? How can I become more successful? The focus is on me, me me! I’ve been so tempted when looking at my future to make decisions based only upon what I want. Oh, how I want my life to count for more than just myself. Impacting people for my Jesus is my life’s ambition, and I strive each day to bring as much glory to His name as possible.
I’ve discussed vaguely on my blog that I went through a season of pretty intense suffering/testing a couple of years ago. My trial hasn’t disappeared (nor will it ever fully go away!) but the pain has subsided, my heart has healed some, and I’ve learned how to live life with the trial the Lord has entrusted me with. As a result of that trial, my perspective has changed! I can’t go into great detail with the specific trial, but my outlook on a “normal life” was changed because some of the things offered with a “normal” life weren’t going to be easily accessible. The Lord began to reveal to me that He has great things for my life, even if my life doesn’t look like the cookie cutter life described above.
There is always a small voice in my head that whispers….
What if no man will ever love you?
My dear readers, that is a LIE straight from the pits of hell!! Life is so much bigger than worrying about whether one person will choose to love me. I have the unconditional love and acceptance of the Father and that is more than enough for me. So, I’m going to hit my knees and be praying about this big decision I have to make, knowing that the Lord will direct my path and abundantly supply for me every step of the journey.