This morning started off like most mornings for me. I got out of bed and headed straight for the coffeemaker. As soon as my coffee started brewing, I wiped the sleep out of my eyes, slashed cold water on my face, picked up my Bible and a pen and headed straight for my favorite spot in my quad. With a large cup of coffee beside me (black of course!) I began my regular routine. Before I open the word of God, I always pray Psalm 119:18…
Open my eyes, that I may behold wondrous things out of your law.
As I uttered those words to the Lord halfheartedly and our of routine, my shoulders slumped and I hung my head and instead of reading the Word, I just began to speak to the Lord. Dear readers, may I let you in on a secret about my relationship with the Lord? I am very honest before Him. We have been through so much together; He’s been by my side through an unimaginable circumstance and has sustained and guided me. He has never left my side, and I trust Him, so I opened up my heart and was vulnerable before Him.
Lord, I get frustrated sometimes. I desperately want to look like You, and I spend time with you in the mornings, but most days, my life doesn’t often reflect you very well. When I look at my life, I see huge obstacles. To be honest, I’m terrified of the future. I’m scared of what the next few years have in store for me. I’m scared that my pain through certain circumstances will be in vain and that You won’t use it. Lord, I hate to voice these things to you, but I’m scared, and in my fear, I end up becoming paralyzed instead of moving forward and reflecting You to a lost and dying world.
…then I heard my Father speak these words into my heart. It was not an audible voice, but it may as well have been, I know this was from the Lord.
My child, I have not forgotten you!
Such a simple truth, but exactly what my soul needed to hear. In the midst of my business, I lost sight of that truth. Beloved, if you are reading these words, take heart! You are not alone. No matter how hard life may seem at the moment, the Lord remembers you! This morning, my King graciously spoke into my heart and reminded me that He is taking good care of me. Even though I don’t see His plans all the time, even though I have no idea what my future holds, even though I’m not sure how He’s going to use the pain that my heart has experienced for His glory. I can cling to the fact that He has not forgotten His child, nor will He ever ever ever forget His own. Someone (I wish I could remember, so I could give proper credit) once told me this, and it has stuck with me ever since…
When you can’t see the hand of God, you can always truth the heart of God.
The Lord hasn’t revealed the next 5 years of my life to me, in fact, I have no idea what tomorrow will hold, but I can tell you one thing…my God is good and He is trustworthy!!