John Mayer and a giant cup of coffee accompany me as I write this. Yes, I confess, I’m a huge John Mayer fan, one of the items on my bucket list is to see him live!! My series on relationships has been quite fun to write, and has sparked a lot of good discussions in my life. I would like to continue by writing about a topic that has been on my heart a lot recently.
The fact is, the majority of people will get married, so take heart if you’re single right now, because chances are, you will be married right now. But that thought has really sobered me up. Think about it….
Every (single) person you’re interacting with is going to be someone’s spouse one day.
I don’t know about you, but that reality has really hit me in the face. I’ve begun to view guys in a different light. To know that I’m interacting with a girls future spouse has really changed how I’ve treated guys. Since I’m not engaged, I don’t know who my future spouse is. Unless there is a wedding ring on your left hand, there’s no guarantee that the person you have a crush on, the person you’re dating or even engaged to is going to be your life mate. I hope that doesn’t sound depressing, it’s meant as a word of encouragement. Right now, in your single years, you have the privilege of building lots of great relationships and friendships. I know I wrote about cultivating friendships with members of the opposite sex the other day, and I highly encourage that. But I would like to add a word of caution. When building those friendships, please keep in mind that you are friends with the future spouse of someone…it could be your spouse or not. You don’t know! I’m completely for having lots of friends of both genders, but I have had to reevaluate my heart in this matter.
Honestly, I’m not extremely careful in how I treat guys, and the Lord has really been convicting me of this recently. I need to address them and treat them in a way that is respectful!! Here are a few things I’m implementing in my life, and I highly encourage you to begin practicing in your life in regards to how you relate to members of the opposite sex…
1. Don’t flirt!
I’m going to be extremely vulnerable right now and say that I have been guilty of flirting wayyy too much in the past. That is not a fact I’m proud of by any means, and for the longest time, I played the dumb card and pretended like I didn’t know what I was doing. Well, the Lord hit me in the face about it, and humbled me. “My daughter,” He whispered lovingly into my ear, “You don’t need the boys to give you attention….you already have MY attention!” As I began to fall more in love with Christ, I began to care less about what others, particularly guys thought of me.
2. Speak in a manner that is edifiying
This point kind of goes alone with the “no flirting” one, but is more direct. When speaking to members of the opposite sex, watch what you say.
Guys: You seriously don’t know how powerful the words you say to us are sometimes. Trust me on this one, I can seriously remember “sweet” things guys have said to me from at least a year ago. It’s okay to be nice, but just be careful because girls have a tendency to read into things and over-analyze. I can’t tell you how many girls have come to me crying and upset because they thought a guy liked them, but in reality, the guy was just being “nice”.
Girls: Be respectful!! Teasing and joking around is fun, but you have to tread very carefully on this ground, because it can be easily taken in the wrong way. We can think nothing of it, but guys can take our “fun and bubbly” personality as being extremely flirty. (Remember, I have personal experience!)
3. Every relationship should push one another towards Christ.
I highly encourage you to evaluate all your relationships and see if they are God-honoring. If they are, thank the Lord that He’s blessed you with solid relationships. If not, take a step back and evaluate what the problem is, ask the Lord to reveal to you why its not working. Then surrender all of your relationships to Him. God created relationships, they were His idea, He knows how to handle them!!
I leave you with this…
Girls: Be classy!
Guys: Be gentlemen!