Love and other things…

Ahhh the day of LOVE

Yesterday was Valentines Day and girls all over the country were either really happy or really sad, depending on their circumstances. It is a day that is either loved or loathed by many. I wanted to write about the topic of love…specifically in dating/romantic relationship. I am by no means a relationship expert, but I do have some observations and encouragement.

1. It’s perfectly okay to be single.

I think that in the Christian culture, people just expect you to be dating/interesting in someone. There is a stereotype of,

“Go to college, date, get married right out of college, have two beautiful children, live in a house with a white picket fence and live happily ever after.”

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think there is anything wrong with this at all, but if that’s not your goal, or not what the Lord has in mind for you…that’s perfectly fine! The Lord knows what He’s doing.

2. Use the time at hand, to prepare yourself.

News flash: None of us are perfect! No matter what stage in life, everyone always has some area they can grow in. We are all in the process of sanctification, and until we reach heaven, we will not be perfectly like Christ. So I encourage you to continue to grow and develop. Whether you’re dating, single, married or anywhere in between, there is no time like the present to learn a new skill, and improve upon an area of your life.

Here is a short list of what I’m currently working on in my life:

  • Cooking (Let’s just say, if I were to get married tomorrow…it would not be for my cooking skills. But I’m working on it!!)
  • Time management (Life just continues to get busier and busier, better learn to manage my time now instead of learning the hard way.)
  • My writing (If I want to write a book one day…I’d better practice, practice, practice!!)

3. Read good books!

Okay, the nerd in me is definitely coming out right now! I could give you a list of at least 10 books that I would recommend to anyone. But in the area of dating/relationships/marriage, there are a few that I would tell every man and woman to go out immediately and read.

FOR MEN:

Wild at Heart by John Eldredge

   FOR WOMEN:

Captivating by Stasi Eldredge

FOR BOTH:

The Meaning of Marriage by Tim Keller

I know that’s a rather short list, but if you only had to read a handful of books, those are the ones I would recommend!

4. Understand proper roles.

This is one of my “soapbox” issues.

GIRLS: Let the man pursue you! It’s his job! If you pursue a man, even if you ‘get’ him, there will always be a question in the back of your mind of, “Does he really want me?” Don’t be that girl that has to wonder. Hold out for a man that will pursue you. On the same note, become a woman worth a man’s pursuit.

MEN: Grow up and be a man! There are enough boys in the world and not enough men. Don’t settle to be a mediocre “man” when you could be a fierce leader and man of God. If you see a Godly woman, pursue her! If it doesn’t work out, it’s not the end of the world. Just because you go on a date or have coffee together, doesn’t mean you have to commit to her or marry her. But you do need to be the one to do the pursuing, not be pursued.

I could keep writing, so I think I may do a part two on this topic. I’d love to hear your thoughts!!

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3 thoughts on “Love and other things…

  1. Chelsea! This is such an intelligent post. I especially love #4. It’s all about chivalry. It lacks so badly and I think that’s why this world has become such a hard place. Women have forgotten how to be ladies and men have forgotten to be just that- MEN. I’m all for women’s rights, but that doesn’t mean a woman has to set aside classiness. And men should pursue. It’s natural. It’s their nature. Remember cave men? They clubbed the gals and carried them to their caves. Thankfully, THAT changed! And in the wild you don’t see the lioness courting the lion. Now, the woo-ing rarely exists in the human world.

  2. Chels, I love this. In complete honesty, I have never taken the time to read any of your posts until now. They are brilliant! You have developed into such a wonderful ambassador for Christ! Your words are absolutely true and so encouraging. Keep up the good work and let me know if you need an editor for that book you’re planning in the future (I edited papers [yes it was a legitimate job haha] in college). I love & miss you so much and look forward to what you post next!

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