I got what I asked for.

Oh what a good God we have!

The Lord recently answered one of my prayers, even though He answered it in a way that I would not have necessary chosen for myself at first. I am an RA at my school this year, and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God placed me to this position. The choice to accept the position was bathed in prayer, and when accepted RA last spring, I knew that I was doing what God wanted me to do. Well, this summer, Satan started to plant lies in my head, and I honestly began to listen to the lies instead of God’s truth. I began to believe that I would make a terrible RA, and all I could see when I was planning and praying over this fall was my flaws and my shortcomings! My thoughts almost got the better of me, and I came very close to calling my school and telling them that I was very sorry, but that they had selected the wrong person to be an RA and they would need to find someone else.

Thankfully, the Lord changed my thinking. He began to work on my heart and show me that yes, on my own human strength and ability, I probably will fail as an RA.  Here’s the glorious truth He revealed to me, He’s not expecting me to do this alone, in fact, if I did try to be an RA on my own strength, I wouldn’t be giving Him glory for the position. Right now, I fully admit that I am so weak and insecure in myself. But He promises to give me strength when I am exhausted and want to quit, wisdom when I am confused, words to speak when I am at a loss, comfort when I am discouraged, etc. You see, even though I can’t do it, He can! Oh what a wonderful thing that is to acknowledge! I don’t have to do it alone. He doesn’t want me to do it alone. When I admit that I am weak, He’ll get to shine through me and get the glory!

Recently, I was spending time with my Beloved, and expressing to Him that I wanted to have deeper faith in Him, and that right now, things were fairly easy in my life. So, I asked for my faith to be strengthened. Well, it wasn’t even 24 hours later when I got what I asked for. Since the devil could not defeat me in becoming an RA, he hit me in a very deep place in my heart. I’ve shared that I’ve gone through some suffering, and Satan targeted that specific place in my heart. Without going into too much detail , emotions and feelings I have tried to suppress were triggered this past week and I had to run as fast as I could into the arms of my Savior and pour out my heart to Him and allow Him to count my tears. This past week was one of the hardest I can remember in a long time. Situations arose, things happened, I cried, I was hurt. It was very difficult. But the Lord is still good, He hasn’t deserted me or left me by myself! Quite the contrary, my relationship with God has been stronger and more intimate. Isn’t it interesting how we pray and ask for blessings in our life, but the real blessing and intimacy comes through difficult circumstances. Just a thought!

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