“The worshipping heart does not create its Object.” -Tozer
My dear reader, I have a confession to make…I’ve been distracted with the world recently. I honestly haven’t kept my heart in check like I should be doing. One of my RA’s is getting married in the next week, and I’m finished with school, so I’ve had time to spend hours looking at wedding dresses online, reading wedding magazines, and talking about wedding ideas with my roommate, etc. It’s gotten ridiculous and has put a desire in my heart that can’t be fulfilled right now. Also, I’m one of the only one of my immediate friends that isn’t in a relationship, so I have people suggesting that I date every slightly attractive guy that passes by. Honestly, it’s been hard not to long after a relationship more than I’ve wanted to throw myself headstrong into my relationship with Christ! How stupid am I? I know for a fact that God’s love is the only love that can ever truly satisfy every single longing and desire of my heart. So why oh why do I allow my heart to be swept up in the silly notion that I’ll be satisfied if I get _______________. (You fill in the blank for your own life.) I’ve been taking an honest look at my heart recently and digging deep to see what idols are taking the place of my Beloved King. It hasn’t been easy to admit to myself or to God that I’ve allowed something else to take His place.
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
That verse is my current prayer. Oh how I long for a heart that only beats to glorify my King. I’m choosing to return to God and commit my entire heart to. I surrender my selfish wants and desires to Him. I so desperately want to reflect His character in my heart. I choose to make Him the possessor of my heart. I do long for romance and to be pursued by a lover, but honestly, I already have the most incredible lover I could ever imagine! My Jesus loves me more intimately and personally than anyone on this planet ever could. Stasi Eldredge, in one of my favorite books beautiful states…
“Every song you love, every memory you cherish, every moment that has moved you to holy tears has been given to your from the One who has been pursuing you from your first breath in order to win your heart. God’s version of flowers and chocolates and candlelight dinners comes in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies; warm wind, swaying trees, lush gardens, and fierce devotion.”
My Beloved romances me more than I could ever hope for or imagine. I need to hand Him my heart instead of giving it to the world. I need to stop flirting with fleeting things and give my love and affection to my Eternal King.
He often takes us aside form every other source of comfort so that he alone can have our heart’s attention.” -Stasi Eldredge